Farewell Donatello
by Wrath Demon
Summary: Ultimate Draco's dimensional trip left a mark on all the turtles, Don most of all. A letter, just in case. SAINW inspired fic. Same as it never was


Disclaimer: I do not own Ninja Turtles, the franchise, etc. This story is mine, and was written only for entertainment purposes.

There are 6 things in life my Brother taught me. Only two were taken in good spirit, and only one was ever received with a thanks. Perhaps I'm not very good to him, or he really is just easy to take for granted; the kind of person who gives too much and won't stop no matter how seemingly unrewarding it is. It's too bad really; he probably deserves better.

To whoever finds this letter,

This is for my Family. Those I love, and considering you're reading this, those I've wronged.

I don't know how or why it is I'm gone. I'm sorry. Assuming it's not of "natural" causes, I can't imagine it being intentional, or at least not meant with malice. I'd do near anything for you; I'd leave for you, but I can't think of why I would need to. If nothing else, please take this letter as proof that I never wanted this to happen; that I tried all I could to stop it, to prepare in advance. It's kind of hard to do however, when I have no real idea of what the problem is.

That time, when the Ultimate Draco took the Daimyo's war staff and threw us into different dimensions? You all remember that…I never gave you details as to what happened to me. There are many reasons for that, but mostly it was out of guilt and fear. It was a future that I couldn't bare to see come to pass. I don't know how much control I'll have over it. I've even spoken to Renet; she couldn't help me much except to say that possibilities are infinite, and that some things are merely inevitable. Not reassuring in the least, really.

Words could never suffice to express what all of you mean to me; how I feel or who you are. I hope that I don't need the words; I hope that I have showed you well enough in the time we've had together so that you already know. I'm not perfect, but I hope I was good to you more often than not. I try to be.

Leonardo, Niisama; you hold our family together, do you know that? We must be such a burden, and we give you the hardest time; even I, your supposedly trusted Lieutenant. But we need you desperately, no matter how much we take you for granted. You're my hero, my mother and brother and peer all in one. You give me peace, brother. I don't know where you find your self-possession, or your will to worry about us so, but I'm always in awe, and I'm always thankful. If I've given you even 1/10 the support in return, then I could ask for no more. You're the perfect big brother, have you any idea? I've always thought it a shame that you missed out on having a Niisama. I couldn't give mine up for anything.

My Raphael. You've given me an ulcer by the time we hit our mid-teens, did you know? Every time you and Leo fight, and you disregard all warnings and storm out, I can only wait without the slightest idea of whether you'll come back in one piece. I only keep my mouth shut because Leo says all I could and more so about being careful, etc. And yet, I spend my spare time making you bikes and sewer sliders and bigger and faster engines for the toys I've already given you. Weeks of scavenging and building and planning to help you risk your life for an adrenaline rush, all for the simple reward of seeing a smile on your face, of hearing a casual compliment due to genuine pleasure. It's worth it. Worth every second of waiting, every bit of worry, every ounce of consideration.

I know this is cruel, but I'm so glad you're reading this, Raphael. That means I left before you. I don't want to think of what this is doing to you. You've spent your life watching my back, protecting me in so many ways, and yet I've left you regardless. I'm so sorry, my Raphael. But it had to be this way, don't you see? You are my strength, Raph. Every time I've been weak, every time I've needed that extra bit of bravery; I borrowed it from you. My strong, passionate brother. You've always had enough strength to spare; beautiful in your fury. Being around you was like being around a Supernova. I've always felt so blessed, so safe. It is said that humans have only a handful of basic needs to survive, and one of them is the intrinsic feeling of safety. That's what you've always given me Raph. I know you fear yourself at times. I wish you wouldn't. You are the one being in all the worlds who I trust the most, Raph; with my life, and with my death. If I could have chosen a way to go, it would be by your hands, or by your side. I'm sorry for any pain you're in, my Raphael. But I would never leave you had I the slightest choice. I need you too much. Please be well Raphie. Forgive me, and live well.

Mikey. Thank you for being my little brother. You've always made me feel special, even at your most annoying. I wouldn't be the person I am if you hadn't allowed me to help care for you. You are laughter, Michelangelo, laughter and freedom and sunshine. We would have gone spare if not for you. Don't change Mikey. Please, I beg of you. You're the heart of this family, and even if I'm gone, your big brothers still need you. It's not fair for the world to lose you Mike, in any form. You're precious little brother, a diamond among a sea of grain. I worry about you the least, did you know? Even though I suppose I'm gone, I don't worry as much. You'll be okay Mike. Even if it doesn't feel like it, I give you my word that you'll be okay. I know you. And I'm glad for it, because there's no one else I can ask Mike.

You have to take care of our brothers now. Please bro, be there for them. Remind Leo to play, to eat. Get Raphie so angry he chases you around the lair threatening to brain you. Talk to Leo about something frivolous; and make sure Raphie smiles. It breaks my heart entirely to imagine him losing his smile. I'm scared Mikey, for them. I want to be there, but if I know you'll take care of things, then it's not as bad. It's a lot to ask, I know. They're so stubborn, our brothers. But you're tough Mike. Your potential has always taken my breath away. Whether you ever choose to utilize it or not, please don't give up on our family. Life's a joy Mikey; you know that better than any of us. Don't you forget it. You make me laugh, little brother. Thank you.

Sensei. I'm not saying bye to you. I don't know how. If I'm truly gone, I suppose you will know before anyone. I'm scared, Father. I hope I'm writing this as a futile exercise, but there's too much of a chance that things will end as I fear. I don't even know if you're still around Sensei. I hope so. If you're not, then maybe I'm with you, so that's okay. Don't forget me, Dad, okay? I know you won't, but I'm scared. I don't want to leave my brothers; it's not fair! I have no regrets though. I want you to know that. You taught me too well for that. Thanks Dad. Thank You, for everything.

I'll end this now; I'm crying too much and I'd much rather go actually be around you while I can. This was actually supposed to be a will, so I'll make a note of that. All my things; everything in the lab, my Bo, everything; you do what you want with it. Preserve it, destroy it, divide it amongst you; it doesn't matter. Everything I am is already yours. I belong to those whom I love, and I always will. Know that.

There are instructions you should easily find though; on the security systems and such. You don't need me to keep it up. My brothers are smart; I just liked doing things for you.

Give my best to our friends; they're one of a kind and it was an honor and privilege to have known them.

Live. Be happy, and remember that I love you.

Always,

-Hamato Donatello.

-30—

AN: This is my first fanfic in ages. Please let me know what you think. Cheers!


End file.
